How's it gonna be when you don't know me anymore?
Like this.
We've arrived.
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| Pike Lake, Luce Co, MI. The LAST day. 16Oct21 |
The distance of time has been restorative. DISTANCE. PERSPECTIVE. Yes, there is power and a resolute calm in perspective. It is almost everything.
Life did not afford me the time to add much to this archive for 2021 and that is simply fine.
Though I set out each year intent to at least document "my" spring migration, the pinnacle moments of May, I failed with this in 2021.
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| White-eyed Vireo that visited my yard 26May2021 |
Spring migration 2021 was fairly mediocre. My photography of the event was equally on par. The odd patterns and scarcity of birds left me with a sense of "I better hold onto these moments while I can." The fate of so much of the grandeur in Nature seems to be hanging on by a thread.
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| Hoot Owl Hollow, Pike Lake, MI 16Oct21 The LAST day |
Summer 2021 through this fall was mired in a long goodbye to the home of my heart: our family property in the eastern U.P. near the southeastern shore of Lake Superior, the end to a love affair that began in 1984.
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| Pike Lake, Luce Co, MI. Evidence of the Duck Lake Fire of 2012 |
Like cancer, toxic family drama destroyed this place that had long encapsulated my heart.
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| Whitefish Point, Chippewa Co, MI August 2019 |
And so it began, August through October, the long good-bye, the grieving, the death of my 37-year relationship with the "Yoop."
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| Pike Lake Area, "After the Fire", 28Oct2013 |
I wake some mornings dreaming of that place,
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| Grand Marais, MI Sept2020 |
...left with the wonder of how's it going to be when I no longer know the landscape.
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| "Mary's Bog" filled with Grass Pink Orchid, Luce Co, MI July2014 |
When I can no longer intuitively navigate the myriad of two-tracks through the bogs and forests...
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| Spruce Grouse, Farm Truck Rd, Chippewa Co, MI They used to be regular along this road up until about 3-4 years ago. :( |
When that remote landscape few know as intimately as someone who has explored its bounty for decades becomes a foreign land.
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| Lake Superior's south shore, somewhere off the beaten path, July2019 |
Goodbye my love. This loss hurts deeper than most.
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| Whitefish Point, Chippewa Co, MI Aug 2019 |
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| Black-throated Blue Warbler, Mission Hill, Chippewa Co, MI 30May15 My favorite place to observe this species |
Through the turmoil of family divisions, my struggle to demand my sibling treat my parents who brought us to that land with the dignity they deserve, through the emotional roller coaster of permanently relocating my parents from the Canadian border to the Mexican border, I found sweet RESPITE in a twenty-fucking-minute diversion to observe a Harris's Sparrow in my birding patch during my brief stop back in Madison. Respite among months of setting my wishes aside for the survival of my parents.
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| Harris's Sparrow, Eagle Heights Gardens, Madison, WI 18Oct21 |
A small chase for a Harris's Sparrow. Big silver-linings. Hold onto to these moments while you can. This was a moment that buoyed me amidst life's drowning circumstances.
While it would have been delightful to spend more time with the Harris's Sparrow, my parents and driving them to Texas that day was calling...
And so was Covid-19, lurking with us from Michigan to Texas. Dad became symptomatic, tested positive and I became the caregiver during the week that followed. Unpacking the U-haul trailer, delivering medications and breathing treatments, cooking, disinfecting, making an impulsive family trip to get monoclonal antibodies for the three of us and living in an N95 mask. This was supposed to be my mask-free time! Instead it was a Texas sweaty masked nightmare!
Though my time in Texas did not turn out how I imagined, I emerged feeling like some super immune dynamo. Miraculously mom and I never tested positive nor exhibited symptoms despite being ultra-exposed.
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| Gulf Fritillary in my parent's yard, Hidalgo Co, TX Oct 2021 |
Covid thwarted my solid shot at an ABA lifer American Flamingo. I missed birding and butterflying some of my favorite Lower Rio Grande Valley haunts. That was the original plan, drive the parents to Texas and spend an additional week on various nature forays. It's all good though. I found a few hours to visit the National Butterfly Center down the road and I had several incidental observations of birds and butterflies from my parent's yard. I also worked on adding plants and making the yard more bird and butterfly friendly between my Covid caregiver duties.
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| Rufous/Allen's Hummingbird, parent's yard, Hidalgo Co, TX Oct 2021 |
Most importantly, I showed up for my parents, for my dad, just like he did at my lowest moment during my mid-twenties. I had to show up for them. It is what decency and dignity demands.
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| Long-tailed Skipper, National Butterfly Center, Hidalgo Co, TX Oct 2021 |
